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➵ Release: June 30, 2017
An Excerpt:
An Excerpt:
I need you, Ava.
I am desperate. For you.
For touch. For a kiss. For the scrape of your hand down my stomach. For
the slide of your lips across my hipbone. The sweep of your thigh
against mine in the dulcet, drowning darkness. For the warm huff of your
breath on my skin and the wet suck of your mouth around me and the
building pressure of need reaching release...I am mad with need.
Wild with it.
I cannot have you. I have lost you, as I have lost myself.
And so I go in search. Of myself, and thus the man who might return to you, and take you in his arms.
I
loathe each of the thousands of miles between us, but I cannot wish
them away, for I hope at the end of my journey I shall find you.
Or rather, find myself, and thus…you. Myself, and thus us.
I am taking the long way home, Ava.
***
Christian,
I’m
losing my mind, and I don’t know how to stop it. I shouldn’t be writing
to you, but I am. I’m friendless, loveless, and lifeless. You’re out
there somewhere, and still you’re all I really have. I hate my reliance
and dependence on you, emotionally and otherwise, and that reliance is
something I’m coming to recognize. I hate that I can’t hate you as much
as I want to. I hate that I still love you so much.
I hate that there’s no clear solution to our conundrum. Even if we could forgive each other, what then?
I hate you, Christian. I really do.
But most of all, I don’t.
It’s complicated.
Complicatedly (still) yours,
Ava
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